


Lisabo Mercado

by viceroyvonmutini



Category: Ghostbusters (2016)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-21
Updated: 2016-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-10 05:26:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7832137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/viceroyvonmutini/pseuds/viceroyvonmutini
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Even Holtz has her flaws.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Lisabo Mercado

**Author's Note:**

> anon prompt: Finally got to see Ghostbusters, so here's a prompt for a possible fic (if it hasn't been done already): Holtzmann is good with engineering guns, but can she assemble stuff from Ikea?
> 
> So I was a little hesitant to post this one on AO3, just because it’s a little different, but after the prompter contacted me saying I should post it anyway, I obliged because why not. I had so much fun riffing these two that I decided, due to the way I was writing, that this was the best way to get this out. 
> 
> The table was carefully chosen and deliberate. There’s about 4 entirely different drafts of this whole conversation and I love them all equally, but I hope you enjoy this one in particular.

‘There are pieces missing.’

‘They don’t work.’

‘They should be  _in it_ , Holtz.’

‘It’s standing.’

‘It’s an inch shorter on one - how did you even  _manage_  that?’

‘No it’s not.’

‘Just because you say it’s not doesn’t mean it’s not.’

‘It’s almost like you don’t  _trust me_  to put together furniture, Erin.’

‘It doesn’t even  _look_ safe. It’s a table. How can it be unsafe? How have you made it unsafe?’

‘Can you put things on it?’

‘I don’t think I want to.’

‘I’m very proud of myself. Do you like it?’

‘I…appreciate the effort.’

‘You hate it.’

‘No! I just…can’t…use it.’

‘Course you can.’

‘It’s tilting. Visibly, Holtz. There’s at least a 15 degree incline from there to there.’

‘It’s Swedish.’

‘Well, that explains it then.’

‘I’m sensing some attitude, Gilbert. I just constructed - for you - and only for you - a beautiful, ergonomically designed “Lisabo.” And this is what I receive. Scorn. Disdain, even.’

‘Look, Holtz, first of all: thank you for… _trying_  to put together my table, but I just can’t…did I mention it’s tilting?’

‘I should just build you one myself. Ikea sucks anyway.’

‘Can you even build a table?’

‘I can build many things.’

‘No, then.’

‘Have faith, Erin Gilbert, have faith. I shall build you a most magnificent table!’

‘Holtz, no-’

‘Shshsh. I shall build our furniture with my own two hands!’

‘ _Our_  furniture?’

‘Well, yeah. Kind of my floor Gilbert.’

‘ _Your_ floor?’

‘I calledfloor two  _of_  this fine Firehouse, if you remember.’

‘That doesn’t make my coffee table your coffee table. Our coffee table. Whatever.’

‘Will you let me use it?’

‘The coffee table?’

‘Yep.’

‘Yes, of course. If you want to, I mean-’

‘Then it’s  _our_  coffee table.’

‘…yeah. Yes, Okay. Our coffee table. Our…furniture.’

‘See?’

‘Well…fine. Fine. Yes. Build…build me a table.’

‘Anything for you, Erin Gilbert.’

‘Anything for…yes. Right. A table. Bye Holtz.’

‘Goodbye Erin. I’ll miss you all the way over here. On the other side of the room.’

‘Shut up Holtz.’ 


End file.
